My boyfriend finally opened up to me about his sexual fantasies — he said he wanted a finger in him. He’s not queer. And I say there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. There’s no need to categorize sex and pleasure — because it’s hypocritical. The idea of grouping pleasure is nowhere found in sex ed; where people say “Anal sex is for gay men” or “bondage is for women”.
I have a female genital organ, still, I want something in my butt. Women want it and It’s not weird. Queer men do it, it’s not disgusting. A straight man wanting to have some fun in there is also not weird. It doesn’t make a man weaker, neither does it justify his sexuality.
First, I want to appreciate queer men for being so courageous and being sexually confident in themselves. I love gay men for that, and if I could, I’d join the MFM community. Being sexually open-minded and admitting, other than avoiding — strengthens gay relationships.
I spent months fantasizing, not knowing how much my boyfriend wanted a finger up in his ass. He never told me this, he probably thought I was going to judge him like the way society does. He probably felt ashamed for craving it and most of all, he probably doubted his sexuality for wanting to follow society’s standards. Wrong!
It’s unfortunate that societal standards follow a one-way lane, I was talking to a friend a few days ago about a riot that spiked up due to a song which seemed homophobic, the lyrics explained how the artiste felt too man enough to engage in anal sex like queer men. At the community I reside in, people haven’t learned to accept LGBT people yet, so a lot of unforgiving statements were made.
My friend herself said,
“Most people who engage in anal sex tend to be gay tops.”
The generalization was awful which was why I retorted with this question, “What about the women who love anal sex, what are we?”
The point is, comments that tend to inflict standards of masculinity into males have made men judge themselves vaguely, their mental health is unstable and hell, we don’t know. My boyfriend didn’t actually confess to me, he was drunk. In other words, if he wasn’t drunk, I wouldn’t have known.
Of course, not all men would admit it. But there are reasons you should certainly slip a finger in his butt, especially for women who crave reactions like me.
Enhancement of sexual pleasure
It’s not a foreign statement that humans are made to enjoy sex. Sex itself doesn't just mean ramming an entrance, a variety of things are involved. From foreplay to spanking, depending on the individual, there’s a turn-on there. The key is knowing the turn-on spots of your partner — by discussing it or figuring it out.
Pleasuring a man anally means satisfying him through the prostate. All men possess this organ, which means all men have a tendency to enjoy this act. And it’s not weird if they do.
According to my boyfriend’s words:
It gets better when there is no rest after each orgasm, like, after cumming, and the pleasure just goes on.
It’s certainly not going to be easy to get him prepared, or her even, but it’s worth it in the end. Strap-ons aren’t bad either, you just have to know what suits your partner’s taste.
Tip: Combine anal sex and oral sex.
One thing is for sure, men have the capability to restrain themselves from making noises during sex, they could be dying due to a load of pleasure, yet still suppress it. Some women want to hear those noises, this is where pleasuring a man through his butthole comes in.
He definitely won’t be able to withstand the pleasure from having his prostate and balls sweetly handled.
Remember that not all men like this, same goes for women. It’s proper to get consent first, and if he agrees, study a bit before going for it. Anal pleasure entails a lot, from using lube for easier penetration to knowing the exact spots to take on. Discussion is everything so it’s important.
Again, it’s not weird to have a man who likes this, it doesn’t mean he’s not into you as a woman, it’s all about the pleasure. Try it and make the best moments out of it.